What Does It Mean to Practice Integrity?
Dr. Lee Ann De Reus - Founder, Badass University
More Than Honesty
When we hear the word integrity, most of us think about honesty. We might describe it as keeping our word, telling the truth, or doing the right thing.
Martha Beck, in her book The Way of Integrity, offers a broader definition. Rather than treating integrity as a moral virtue, she invites us to think of it as alignment between who we are, what we value, and the lives we actually live.
Integrity is “the psychological state of being whole, undivided, and true to your own nature.”
The Drawbridge
The structural integrity of a drawbridge offers a useful metaphor. A drawbridge functions only when every component works together as intended. If one part fails, the bridge loses its integrity.
Our lives are much the same. When our choices consistently contradict our true self, we lose that same sense of wholeness.
Misalignment Hides in Plain Sight
At first glance, Beck’s definition seems self-evident. Of course we should live in alignment with ourselves. Yet misalignment often hides in plain sight.
It can look like:
Staying in a job that pays well but drains your energy.
Hiding your opinions to avoid being labeled “difficult.”
Laughing at jokes or tolerating comments that violate your values.
Believing love requires self-sacrifice to your own detriment.
Saying yes when you want to say no.
Living according to the version of yourself that earned approval years ago.
Knowing what is true, but not acting on it.
Letting fear, guilt, habit, or other people’s expectations determine your choices.
Why Does This Happen?
None of us develops in isolation. We are shaped by our families, schools, faith communities, friendships, workplaces, and the cultures in which we live. Along the way, we absorb messages about:
what success looks like
what is admired
what is rewarded
who we are expected to become
For women, gender norms add another layer. We are often encouraged to be accommodating, dependable, emotionally attuned, and endlessly capable. We learn to value harmony, avoid disappointing others, and earn approval by meeting expectations.
Those expectations are not universal, however. Race, culture, class, religion, sexuality, disability, age, and many other aspects of our identities shape what is expected of us and the consequences of resisting those expectations.
Integrity Is a Practice
We are products of our environments, yet we are also capable of reflection, growth, and choice. Integrity, then, is not something we either possess or lack. It is the ongoing practice of distinguishing between being true to our own nature and the limiting expectations imposed by our environment and internalized over the course of our lives.
Each time we practice integrity, we move closer to our true self, expanding freedom and possibility for ourselves and others.
Try This
To practice integrity, begin with one decision you’re currently facing.
Before you decide, ask yourself:
Does this choice reflect my true self?
Or does it reflect who I’ve learned I’m supposed to be?
Awareness is where the practice of integrity begins.
OWN YOUR POWER · PRACTICE INTEGRITY · RISE TOGETHER
— Dr. Lee Ann De Reus, Founder